Ok so i've had this plateau for seriously weeks now, at least 2 weeks. It's an ok weight and all, but what's frustrating is it's 201, 2...0....1..... If it were only 2 pounds lighter I'd LOVE to see that everyday on the scale, just to be under 200, if i plateaued at 199, at least it would be under 200. argg, i'm soo frustrated. I've been doing maintenance so well that all i do is maintain the exact same weight, but i'm not done trying to lose. I went back to my maintenance because I HAD been losing so easily on it before but somehow i broke my stride and i'm looking to get it back!
A friend posted on Facebook about a diet called the "Sacred Heart Diet" it's called that because it was created by a hospital called Sacred Heart that did this diet for patients needing to rapidly lose weight. It's basically a form of the cabbage soup diet the army does, but no cabbage. You make this soup and you can eat as much of it as you want, whenever you want, and for a week you eat that all day and on each day you get one extra thing, like one day is fruits and one is extra veggies and one is MEAT and you even get a baked potato one day too. I figure if i could stick to HCG for 26 days then surely i can stick to a soup diet for 7 right?! I hope so, supposedly it's a 10-15 pounds loss over one week, heck that's what i lost my first week on hcg so why not huh? I'm enjoying trying these different things and finding what i do and don't like and what works for me. I'll give it a shot next week and see how it works. I ate soup for lunch today (not that soup, but soup still) and it was an all veggie soup and I enjoyed it so as long as I can stand it for a week, i'll make it thru.
Part of the problem I think is that I am working out and building muscle because I still feel thinner, but somehow i manage to build exactly as much muscle as i'm losing in fat because my weight has been the same every single stinking day LOL.
No matter the reason, I was trying to make myself feel thinner by picking a before and after set of of pictures to show, because everyone figures after losing 40 pounds i must look soooo different. Unforunately I'm really not seeing it much, my boobs are still so large that they take up my entire field of vision when i look down. I know my clothes fit different and that's pretty much what i'm going off of on looking different. My face doesn't look much different to me really. Other people have told me how different i look, so anyway i was trying to find a good fat picture (well all fat pictures are bad but you know...) And apparently i was really good at avoiding pictures while fat, or hiding my fat with a well placed child, or deleting any that managed to make it to my computer. So i really have no good fat pictures, and If i can tell YOU as the reader anything, it's that if you're going to go on a diet, take a before picture!! Arrg, that is so frustrating, i thought about it, but the last time years ago that i took before pictures for a diet they just bummed me out when i bombed on my dieting. I worried that taking pictures this time would be like a curse to my motivation. I don't know why, for most people it helps, but i was worried i wouldn't actually be able to do this. I showed myself didn't i?!
Still hunting for fat pics, hopefully i'll find one eventually that shows me in the middle because that's where i've lost the most!!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
hCg
I started my second cycle of HCG on Tuesday, which meant two days of fat loading which i HATED, because I actually don't enjoy that food anymore especially not the way it makes my body feel. And as expected I gained a few pounds on those days but I wasn't worried because I knew it would come right off once I started. The last cycle i did in the first week alone i lost 10 pounds i was losing two pounds a day after the first two days of fat loading. So i obviously expected similar results this time. Now backing up, I started HCG this week after my appt with the plastic surgeon because i wasn't sure how soon the surgery would be scheduled for and I wanted to make sure i lost the last 15-20 pounds before it. I actually have been losing weight just fine during my 'maintenance' real world eating phase. I had found a balance of food that tasted good and i didn't feel hungry and i was losing around 3 pounds a week. But since my experience previously with hcg i thought that would be a faster way to finish off the weight loss. However I am now on the 6th day of this diet and all i've managed to do is lose the weight gained during fat loading. I'm already plateauing at the same weight i was before starting this cycle. I didn't plateau last time until the second week. The thing is this is making me lose weight at nearly the same rate as i was before, back when i enjoyed what i was eating more and i could exersize. It feels like the reason it might not be working as well is that when i started this the first time i was eating terribly, i mean fast food at least once a day every day....yuck, but that made the new way of eating a big shock to my body, so of course i lost weight. but since for the last six weeks i've been eating normal healthy food (and enjoying it i might ad) i think that this slightly less food (But still the same kind of food) is not as much of a shock and therefore isn't going to have the same result as before. So looking at this as a lifestyle point of view i think i'm going to ditch hcg at this point. If i am losing at the same rate i was managing to lose it before, then why should i bother struggling to remember to take my drops three times a day and prepare different food than my kids and eat less times a day and everything that goes along with hcg, if i can acheive the same results with my own healthy eating, eating when i'm hungry, and getting to dance and exersize (which is not allowed on hcg because you're not taking in enough calories to support it).
Add to this the fact that they called this week to schedule my surgery for May 17th, that gives me a month and a half, or around 6 weeks, so if i lose an average of 3 pounds a week that would make me 18 pounds lighter by then....add to that the 3-5 pounds of weight taken off during surgery...and bada bing, i'm at my goal weight.
I'm not dissing hcg or anything, i think they just assume that most people go back to their way of eating crap and so the next cycle of hcg is still a good shock to the system and makes you lose weight. I've changed my whole eating outlook, and despite waiting the prescribed 6 weeks between cycles, i'm just not feeling it this time. I'm going to see how the next few days go and see if i can get below my current weight, 203 (38 pounds lost), but i'm pretty sure i won't be finishing out this full cycle. I'm not a quitter, and i hate the idea of quitting and not completeing something, but i also have to simplify life, and the way i was eating before was much simpler.
I wish that i could just look at the scale one day and see 199, that would make everything all better, if that's all i ever got to, i'd probably still be happy...lol, just to be UNDER 200! only 4 pounds away, i'll be there soon enough and everyone will know it when i am!!
Add to this the fact that they called this week to schedule my surgery for May 17th, that gives me a month and a half, or around 6 weeks, so if i lose an average of 3 pounds a week that would make me 18 pounds lighter by then....add to that the 3-5 pounds of weight taken off during surgery...and bada bing, i'm at my goal weight.
I'm not dissing hcg or anything, i think they just assume that most people go back to their way of eating crap and so the next cycle of hcg is still a good shock to the system and makes you lose weight. I've changed my whole eating outlook, and despite waiting the prescribed 6 weeks between cycles, i'm just not feeling it this time. I'm going to see how the next few days go and see if i can get below my current weight, 203 (38 pounds lost), but i'm pretty sure i won't be finishing out this full cycle. I'm not a quitter, and i hate the idea of quitting and not completeing something, but i also have to simplify life, and the way i was eating before was much simpler.
I wish that i could just look at the scale one day and see 199, that would make everything all better, if that's all i ever got to, i'd probably still be happy...lol, just to be UNDER 200! only 4 pounds away, i'll be there soon enough and everyone will know it when i am!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Plastic Surgeon
**********Originally started writing this Monday, then got distracted so "today" is referring to Monday, not Thursday.*********************************************
Today I got a call out of the blue from the surgeon's office. I knew my dr had sent in a referral but I didn't expect a call so quick, nor did i expect them to want to schedule my appointment for TODAY! So we crammed it into an already crazy schedule today and I saw the plastic surgeon for the first time. His name is Dr.Kim, his specialty is breast surgeries and hand surgeries, strange combination but that's ok.
When I got in the office to see him there was never a question of "if" I was going to have the surgery, since my Dr. had already referred me it was basically all about "when" i have the surgery. wow. He told me that i was just about as perfect a candidate as ever there was. I am young and in good health and my breasts are much larger than average to my proportions, the rest of my body was in proportion to itself and my BMI was spot on. It made me so proud of the work I'd done losing the weight to get here. Then I brought up the subject of losing more weight. "don't!" he told me, your perfect where you are. We don't want your weight to be fluctuating when you have the surgery, and we don't want you to lose any more weight after the surgery which could "deflate" the results. So he told me don't lose any more now and don't lose any more after?! But I'm not where I want to be with my weight, so he said I had room to lose 15 pounds, but much more than that he was not comfortable with. I'm not really sure why losing more weight before the surgery is such a problem, but either way it gave me the green light to do another cycle of hCG and finish off my weight loss. Because I was able to lose an extra 13 pounds while on maintenance (bringing total weight loss since January to 38 pounds) I feel that 20 pounds on one last phase of hCG should put me right where I want to be. Can you imagine that another 20 pounds mean I'll be a total of 58 pounds thinner?! That is a crazy thought! that's almost 60 pounds! I've been saying for years I wanted to lose 60 pounds but never really thought I might actually be able to do it, as of right now, I KNOW i will. Maybe I should lose another 2 pounds down the road just to round it out to that nice pretty 6..0... it just sounds like so much more tahn 58 LOL. Do you think anyone would call me on it if i told them right now I'd lost 40 pounds instead of 38? hmm.
Anyway the dr also told me I am quite symetrical which is rare, so it should make the outcome very nice. I'm having trouble actually picturing what I'll look like with 'normal' size breasts, but I have no trouble picture how it will feel to walk into Victoria's Secret and just buy a bra off the rack! I'm looking forward to leaving my back pain behind and the gigantic bra's of my past will either find new uses or new owners....maybe they could be a really large sling, for slinging boulders at enemies....lol, maybe my bras will win wars and solve world peace! ha! Hey it could happen!
One thing is forsure, I'll be posting (a fully clothed) before and after shot, I want the world to know why I lost all this weight. This has been a long time coming and I can't believe I'm finally making it happen! Why are you losing the weight? What are you goals?
Today I got a call out of the blue from the surgeon's office. I knew my dr had sent in a referral but I didn't expect a call so quick, nor did i expect them to want to schedule my appointment for TODAY! So we crammed it into an already crazy schedule today and I saw the plastic surgeon for the first time. His name is Dr.Kim, his specialty is breast surgeries and hand surgeries, strange combination but that's ok.
When I got in the office to see him there was never a question of "if" I was going to have the surgery, since my Dr. had already referred me it was basically all about "when" i have the surgery. wow. He told me that i was just about as perfect a candidate as ever there was. I am young and in good health and my breasts are much larger than average to my proportions, the rest of my body was in proportion to itself and my BMI was spot on. It made me so proud of the work I'd done losing the weight to get here. Then I brought up the subject of losing more weight. "don't!" he told me, your perfect where you are. We don't want your weight to be fluctuating when you have the surgery, and we don't want you to lose any more weight after the surgery which could "deflate" the results. So he told me don't lose any more now and don't lose any more after?! But I'm not where I want to be with my weight, so he said I had room to lose 15 pounds, but much more than that he was not comfortable with. I'm not really sure why losing more weight before the surgery is such a problem, but either way it gave me the green light to do another cycle of hCG and finish off my weight loss. Because I was able to lose an extra 13 pounds while on maintenance (bringing total weight loss since January to 38 pounds) I feel that 20 pounds on one last phase of hCG should put me right where I want to be. Can you imagine that another 20 pounds mean I'll be a total of 58 pounds thinner?! That is a crazy thought! that's almost 60 pounds! I've been saying for years I wanted to lose 60 pounds but never really thought I might actually be able to do it, as of right now, I KNOW i will. Maybe I should lose another 2 pounds down the road just to round it out to that nice pretty 6..0... it just sounds like so much more tahn 58 LOL. Do you think anyone would call me on it if i told them right now I'd lost 40 pounds instead of 38? hmm.
Anyway the dr also told me I am quite symetrical which is rare, so it should make the outcome very nice. I'm having trouble actually picturing what I'll look like with 'normal' size breasts, but I have no trouble picture how it will feel to walk into Victoria's Secret and just buy a bra off the rack! I'm looking forward to leaving my back pain behind and the gigantic bra's of my past will either find new uses or new owners....maybe they could be a really large sling, for slinging boulders at enemies....lol, maybe my bras will win wars and solve world peace! ha! Hey it could happen!
One thing is forsure, I'll be posting (a fully clothed) before and after shot, I want the world to know why I lost all this weight. This has been a long time coming and I can't believe I'm finally making it happen! Why are you losing the weight? What are you goals?
Saturday, March 26, 2011
passed go! (too bad I can't collect 200 dollars!)
So yesterday I was debating about weighing myself with clothes on (no shoes though of course) because I wanted to see what the dr's office scale might say to me as to whether or not I met the BMI qualifications for breast reduction surgery. I have to weigh 210 or under to meet the BMI, but since I can't strip down to my underwear at the office as well as the fact that they won't take my word on my weight, I had to be able to be 210 with clothes on. I am always so nervous about stepping on the scale, it takes a few minutes to "compute" my weight and I always Imagine something terrible showing up, and then of course I imagine seeing what I want to see, 210. And then the number appears 208....if it hadn't been so early in the morning I would have squealed louder....but oh my gosh!!! I was beyond excited and immediately sat down at the computer to email my dr about the news. I had to wait a whole day for his response, which I got this morning, it was only two words...."Refferal Granted," that's all I needed to see, the referral was sent and now I just have to wait for the surgeons office to call me and schedule a consult for surgery. YAY!!! Ok I am totally not one to be excited for surgery, but I am totally exstatic at the idea of smaller bras and smaller clothes and well smaller everything! LOL
Then today I weighed myself as normal with just underwear on after going to the bathroom first thing in the morning. I was totally unprepared for the sight of 2 0 5
Did I see that right? Adam suggested weighing again as sometimes it gives innacurate readings, so I stepped on again, 2 0 5 again! Wow it's like that 200 mark is clearly in view, and the huge 1 9 9 is right around the corner!! To be under 200 would feel absolutely amazing, seriously, I think i'll be screaming about it for days when I get there...did you notice that, I said "When" not "IF"....because at this pace I'll be there in a few weeks. I had decided to postpone my next cycle of HCG until after my next period because that's the best time to start, and the thought that I could be starting my next cycle at about 200 instead of 216 where I finished my last cycle....wow, so excited!! This one cycle should put me right about where I want to be. I can feel my body slowly transforming into something I've wanted to see for so long, If i'd known I would be this good at loosing weight I would have done this years ago.
I am so thankful to my Husband Man who has supported me in my weight loss, I could not have done this without him!!
So by the way for anyone keeping track (because of course I am) I am now down 36 pounds, so close to 40 I can smell it!! yay!
Then today I weighed myself as normal with just underwear on after going to the bathroom first thing in the morning. I was totally unprepared for the sight of 2 0 5
Did I see that right? Adam suggested weighing again as sometimes it gives innacurate readings, so I stepped on again, 2 0 5 again! Wow it's like that 200 mark is clearly in view, and the huge 1 9 9 is right around the corner!! To be under 200 would feel absolutely amazing, seriously, I think i'll be screaming about it for days when I get there...did you notice that, I said "When" not "IF"....because at this pace I'll be there in a few weeks. I had decided to postpone my next cycle of HCG until after my next period because that's the best time to start, and the thought that I could be starting my next cycle at about 200 instead of 216 where I finished my last cycle....wow, so excited!! This one cycle should put me right about where I want to be. I can feel my body slowly transforming into something I've wanted to see for so long, If i'd known I would be this good at loosing weight I would have done this years ago.
I am so thankful to my Husband Man who has supported me in my weight loss, I could not have done this without him!!
So by the way for anyone keeping track (because of course I am) I am now down 36 pounds, so close to 40 I can smell it!! yay!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
a guilt free weekend
I got to go away for a few days this last weekend. I went to stay with my sister in Monterey. I got to be kid free for two whole days! Imagine that!!!
The weather at first was TERRIBLE!! Windy and rainy and stormy in general. We went to church on sunday in her ward and it was so strange to be in church with no kids in tow...loved it, but missed it at the same time. The whole time at church I had a little prayer in my heart that the rain would stop, we so wanted to go on a nature walk and to get out and about for a while. Low and behold, we exited church to the glare of a strong sun and blue skies!!!
Getting to the point of why this is on my weight not blog and not my family blog....
We did many fun outdoor activities on Sunday and on Monday before I had to go home Sunday night. I knew I was getting more exersize than normal so I allowed myself to splurge a bit. My sister is a crazy one for bicycling so she can eat pretty much whatever she wants and maintain a fabulous figure...i on the otherhand, cannot. Hence why I am so picky about what I eat, to make up for a less active lifestyle at the moment. She didn't have any diet food, and as a guest I ate whatever was offered. I found it strangely easy to go back to this kind of eating and still worried over it but enjoyed it all the same. I did, however, notice my ability to stop at a reasonable point remained intact no matter what I was eating! I was so proud of this fact! When we had lasagna for dinner, i had one piece and started a second but only ate a few bites of the second before feeling satisfied and stopping. When we had a very heavilly creamy clam chowder (best ever i'd venture to say) I had no problem stopping half way thru and not finishing. I did eat a roll with my clam chowder which i felt somewhat guilty about until we later rented a surrey dual bicycle (big giant contraption with a cover over it that you peddle yourself) and we killed ourselves riding this thing for an hour....plenty of exersize to work off those carbs! LOL. In the end though I harbored a bit of guilt, the exersize, which also included several miles of hiking on another day, would have made so much more of a difference if i'd been eating more healthy the whole time....afterall I'd hoped to lose some weight on this trip, not maintain it despite heavy exersize.
I arrived home last night, and hadn't weighed myself the whole weekend, I always weigh myself in the morning so I didn't bother with it until this morning. My scale is digital and after you step on it takes a few seconds to show your weight while it's calculating. During those few seconds a million thoughts crossed my mind, "ok if i'm going to gain weight I just don't want to be over 213 (pre trip weight was 210)"...."Come on 210....come on 210" I was so afraid of seeing a higher number I wasn't expecting what I did see...209. Maybe it was only one pound but it was a huge breakthru for me! I'd be plateaued at 210 for a few weeks now and it was amazing to finally have made a difference, even if it could have been better, it still was exciting to see loss instead of gain. Truthfully I haven't gained a pound since I've been working to lose weight, I either maintain or lose, and for this I am truly grateful. My goal feels so close, I know i'll get there. yay me.
The weather at first was TERRIBLE!! Windy and rainy and stormy in general. We went to church on sunday in her ward and it was so strange to be in church with no kids in tow...loved it, but missed it at the same time. The whole time at church I had a little prayer in my heart that the rain would stop, we so wanted to go on a nature walk and to get out and about for a while. Low and behold, we exited church to the glare of a strong sun and blue skies!!!
Getting to the point of why this is on my weight not blog and not my family blog....
We did many fun outdoor activities on Sunday and on Monday before I had to go home Sunday night. I knew I was getting more exersize than normal so I allowed myself to splurge a bit. My sister is a crazy one for bicycling so she can eat pretty much whatever she wants and maintain a fabulous figure...i on the otherhand, cannot. Hence why I am so picky about what I eat, to make up for a less active lifestyle at the moment. She didn't have any diet food, and as a guest I ate whatever was offered. I found it strangely easy to go back to this kind of eating and still worried over it but enjoyed it all the same. I did, however, notice my ability to stop at a reasonable point remained intact no matter what I was eating! I was so proud of this fact! When we had lasagna for dinner, i had one piece and started a second but only ate a few bites of the second before feeling satisfied and stopping. When we had a very heavilly creamy clam chowder (best ever i'd venture to say) I had no problem stopping half way thru and not finishing. I did eat a roll with my clam chowder which i felt somewhat guilty about until we later rented a surrey dual bicycle (big giant contraption with a cover over it that you peddle yourself) and we killed ourselves riding this thing for an hour....plenty of exersize to work off those carbs! LOL. In the end though I harbored a bit of guilt, the exersize, which also included several miles of hiking on another day, would have made so much more of a difference if i'd been eating more healthy the whole time....afterall I'd hoped to lose some weight on this trip, not maintain it despite heavy exersize.
I arrived home last night, and hadn't weighed myself the whole weekend, I always weigh myself in the morning so I didn't bother with it until this morning. My scale is digital and after you step on it takes a few seconds to show your weight while it's calculating. During those few seconds a million thoughts crossed my mind, "ok if i'm going to gain weight I just don't want to be over 213 (pre trip weight was 210)"...."Come on 210....come on 210" I was so afraid of seeing a higher number I wasn't expecting what I did see...209. Maybe it was only one pound but it was a huge breakthru for me! I'd be plateaued at 210 for a few weeks now and it was amazing to finally have made a difference, even if it could have been better, it still was exciting to see loss instead of gain. Truthfully I haven't gained a pound since I've been working to lose weight, I either maintain or lose, and for this I am truly grateful. My goal feels so close, I know i'll get there. yay me.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
meeting my goal.
It's a strange feeling to see the number on the scale that I've wanted to see for so long now. It's not my final weight goal but it's a HUGE hurdle in the middle. My weight today? 210. I made it, this is the weight goal set by the dr for me to qualify for breast reduction. Now i'll be truthful, my breasts have gone down a small amount, maybe a cup size, but considering where they started, that isn't saying much. I am about a G cup and am hoping to go down to a D. It would be so nice to be able to wear dresses where the top and bottom of the same dress fit right, I am constantly wearing seperates because if the top fits the bottom is too big and if the bottom fits the top is too small, seems i just couldn't win!
Possibly the most shocking part about making this goal is that it came the morning after going out on a date with my husband where I ate food that was not exactly "diet friendly." But I was able to stick to my mantra, "Taste everything, don't deny myself any food...just eat it sparingly." Now I did eat very carefully all day leading up to it to allow the most calories for myself at that meal. But we went out with his whole family (because we were all going to see spamalot together) and they ordered several appetizers to share. Appetizers are hard for me because we're all sitting there hungry and this food smells so good. So I allowed myself to taste anything that smelled good. But it was only a taste, i was able to enjoy each taste, knowing i would only have one or two, so i savored each one and had lots of time between each taste to consider the flavor and what else i wanted to try. Then of course with the entree their soup was clam chowder and I was not going to turn that down, and so again, i ate each bite with several minutes in between, so that by the time my food came I'd had a total of maybe 5 spoonfuls of this dilectable soup and was able to move on easily to the entree. I had a small steak and rice pilaf which honestly I've never tried before because i always found the other options of mashed potatoes or loaded baked potatoes or fries..much more interesting. And wow, i LOVED the rice! Now it was much more carb then i normally allow myself but I felt it was a relatively healthy carb and so i ate as much as i liked, but again i made sure to have several minutes between each bite and after only a small portion of rice, green beans and steak, i found myself pleasantly satisfied. so i stopped eating. by waiting between each bite i am better able to evaluate my full feeling and stop at a more reasonable point. I'm not saying all of this to brag, because i kind of sounds that way i think, but really it's just to point out that with a little self control, we don't have to be afraid of eating out, and this is a huge thing for me. I've been so concerned about not gaining the weight back that I wasn't allowing myself any kind of eating out for fear of over eating. But this has given me new confidence in the eating skills i've developed and hope to use for the rest of my life. I feel like a whole new person, a person who doesn't have to feel guilty about what i eat anymore. Even after sampling every appetizer and having a creamy soup with my meal, i was still able to lose the last bit of weight yesterday to meet this goal.
I had been doing HCG for a while but these last 6 pounds have been all on my own and that makes me so proud. Not only have i kept off what i lost but i've developed my understanding of my problem areas and been able to turn them into strengths instead of weaknesses. I can't wait to post on here at some point that i've reached my final goal, which is 185, only 25 pounds to go, which is less than i've already lost, I really feel i can do this!
Possibly the most shocking part about making this goal is that it came the morning after going out on a date with my husband where I ate food that was not exactly "diet friendly." But I was able to stick to my mantra, "Taste everything, don't deny myself any food...just eat it sparingly." Now I did eat very carefully all day leading up to it to allow the most calories for myself at that meal. But we went out with his whole family (because we were all going to see spamalot together) and they ordered several appetizers to share. Appetizers are hard for me because we're all sitting there hungry and this food smells so good. So I allowed myself to taste anything that smelled good. But it was only a taste, i was able to enjoy each taste, knowing i would only have one or two, so i savored each one and had lots of time between each taste to consider the flavor and what else i wanted to try. Then of course with the entree their soup was clam chowder and I was not going to turn that down, and so again, i ate each bite with several minutes in between, so that by the time my food came I'd had a total of maybe 5 spoonfuls of this dilectable soup and was able to move on easily to the entree. I had a small steak and rice pilaf which honestly I've never tried before because i always found the other options of mashed potatoes or loaded baked potatoes or fries..much more interesting. And wow, i LOVED the rice! Now it was much more carb then i normally allow myself but I felt it was a relatively healthy carb and so i ate as much as i liked, but again i made sure to have several minutes between each bite and after only a small portion of rice, green beans and steak, i found myself pleasantly satisfied. so i stopped eating. by waiting between each bite i am better able to evaluate my full feeling and stop at a more reasonable point. I'm not saying all of this to brag, because i kind of sounds that way i think, but really it's just to point out that with a little self control, we don't have to be afraid of eating out, and this is a huge thing for me. I've been so concerned about not gaining the weight back that I wasn't allowing myself any kind of eating out for fear of over eating. But this has given me new confidence in the eating skills i've developed and hope to use for the rest of my life. I feel like a whole new person, a person who doesn't have to feel guilty about what i eat anymore. Even after sampling every appetizer and having a creamy soup with my meal, i was still able to lose the last bit of weight yesterday to meet this goal.
I had been doing HCG for a while but these last 6 pounds have been all on my own and that makes me so proud. Not only have i kept off what i lost but i've developed my understanding of my problem areas and been able to turn them into strengths instead of weaknesses. I can't wait to post on here at some point that i've reached my final goal, which is 185, only 25 pounds to go, which is less than i've already lost, I really feel i can do this!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Pants-y that
So today on a whim I decided to go to Old Navy. Haven't been there in ages and I just felt like trying on clothes, to get an idea of what size I am. I'm still wearing old clothes despite losing 28 pounds...It's hard to tell what size I am from baggy jeans and lose shirts. I had to take Katie, Catcher and Darla with me but they were surprisingly well behaved despite it being during nap time and several trips to and from the dressing room. I was amazed when even the size 16 was falling off....I didn't expect that. I tried on a 14 and found that more than comfortable even to the point that i tried on a 12! Well the 12 was tighter than I find comfortable so I didn't buy it, but I could see that as little as 10 pounds could make that work. Is there actually a chance that at my goal weight I could be a 12??? I wouldn't dare think to ever be a size 10 again but oh...man for some reason that is the number that makes me excited. A size 10 was what I wore when i worked so hard to lose weight in my teen years, I didn't have as much weight to lose as I have this time but I lost enough weight to wear a size 10 and it felt sooooo good...I would love to see that number again....but i'd be happy with a 12 considering I'd been wearing an 18 in some things and a 20 in most when i started this.
I've been feeling so good about the way I'm eating lately, feeling like I don't need to indulge on foods because I'm enjoying the way my body feels so much more. Strange how feeling thin makes me want to eat even more salads and health foods...lol, you'd think it'd make me feel like i could splurge with room to spare, but it's been quite liberating to feel thin, and healthy, i don't want to lose that, or jeopordize it in anyway with some fattening treat. Someday when i've lost my weight maybe i'll treat myself, or maybe i'll end up one of those skinny people who still only eats salads, but either way, i'm going to be around and more active for years to come, and that's what this has all been about anyway.
On a side note, i did buy a pair of knee length shorts that i LOVE!!! And two shirts which have the unfortunate side effect of showing off my large my chest STILL is...can't wait to get that taken care of too....3 more pounds!!!
I've been feeling so good about the way I'm eating lately, feeling like I don't need to indulge on foods because I'm enjoying the way my body feels so much more. Strange how feeling thin makes me want to eat even more salads and health foods...lol, you'd think it'd make me feel like i could splurge with room to spare, but it's been quite liberating to feel thin, and healthy, i don't want to lose that, or jeopordize it in anyway with some fattening treat. Someday when i've lost my weight maybe i'll treat myself, or maybe i'll end up one of those skinny people who still only eats salads, but either way, i'm going to be around and more active for years to come, and that's what this has all been about anyway.
On a side note, i did buy a pair of knee length shorts that i LOVE!!! And two shirts which have the unfortunate side effect of showing off my large my chest STILL is...can't wait to get that taken care of too....3 more pounds!!!
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