Eating to live, not eating to die.

Do you ever have a moment where things just suddenly click into place? Like where you're hard studying finally got you the "A" on that test? It's strange but that's how i feel today.

I've known for quite sometime that the two main obstacles to weight loss for me are
A)portion control
B) THE EVIL CARB!!!!!

The problem for me is so often that I use food as a comfort and it is always the carbs that do the comforting the most, then of course compiled with the fact that i eat too many of it when i do and you've got a recipe for disaster to any diet plan. I've been reading a lot about healthier diet plans and praying i could have the will power to stick to one, I had that will power once a long time ago and i haven't had it back for years.....until today.

Yesterday I danced with my kids in the kitchen with the radio up and the windows open with a cool breeze blowing in. It was a freeing feeling, it made me feel so good that at dinner (grilled chicken, white rice, and green beans) I totally felt like i could eat just the chicken and green beans and be completely satisified. I didn't think much of it, i ate the rice anyway, but only a small scoop and didn't go back for seconds because although it's not terrible for me , portion control on all things is key.

I sometimes will have a moment like that here and there, a moment of self control and good eating but then i go to bed and wake up reset to my old internal monologue of how much fattening food i can shove in my face all day to make myself feel less stressed over everything else which i have less control over. I reset back to that every morning. but this morning was different somehow, it's like i woke up reenergized and ready to eat healthy, and not only that but i did not cheat the whole day, seriously! I am not on a specific diet at the moment, but it was things like not eating the snack i made for the kids, but rather making myself something else. It was choosing at dinner not to eat the baked potato (which as far as potatoes go is just about my favorite!) or even the sweet hawaiian roll and not even batting an eye about that choice. Like somehow it was an easy choice.

Yesterday i let myself really dwell on what it could feel like to be thinner and healthy again, how amazingly great it would feel and i think that helped, helped me point my mind toward that direction. I don't know if this will last after this so i had to write about it because it was so wonderful, I haven't had a day of not craving junk food for so long i can't even remember. Today is the start of something new i hope.... the start of eating to live not eating to die.